


It's not like I'm your private nurse or something

by Cecileen_aka_C2



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Call this OOC IDC, F/M, Genderbending, HPA verse, Happy fluffy daily, Ouma stop the deliberate Hayashibara shoutout, Reference to Sai’s VA desu wa, Saihara is female in this fic, Sickfic, Surprisingly a lot of VA-related shoutouts to candid level, Well sorry I just felt like doing it, needle fear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 05:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10803081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecileen_aka_C2/pseuds/Cecileen_aka_C2
Summary: Then Harukawa, who were passing by, made final refutation and broke doubting silence.“Seriously, who else here has better relationship with that than you?”Saihara have never had a moment sadder than this-not being able to find one single truth bullet to refute because the claim made 100% logical sense.In which Saihara ended up nursing sick Ouma.





	It's not like I'm your private nurse or something

**Author's Note:**

> Creating mood: That sucky moment when you have whole story but can’t choose the goddamn right word
> 
> Hello long time no see   
> At Pixiv, there are quite many works where Saihara is portrayed as girl(and Ayanami cosplay is must-draw, I have to say). I enjoy them as much as Trans! Saihara of Ao3(cultural difference, sure why not). I wanted to write a fic with that AU so voila.
> 
> TBH, this ‘Nurse Saihara’ idea first sparked in my mind when I first learnt that Saihara’s VA, Megumi Hayashibara, is certified nurse. To add more explanations, she attended college of nursing while starting her career seiyuu. She worked as part-time nurse until her life became stable enough with pay from voice acting. ‘Could Shuuichi know forensic medicine?’ ‘OMG what if he knows how to nurse just like his VA that would be cool.’ I think Ouma’s last FTE with Shuuichi was kinda reference to Megu-san. Combine that with my secret weakness for fluffy sickfic and you can guess the rest.
> 
> Believe it or not, I spent surprisingly a lot of time on this-I actually put more effort on this than I do to school works. This is by far the longest fic I posted-you can call that some improvement, right?
> 
> Here's my Saihara Family HC: Famous actor father and screenplay writer mother(this is actually canon. Check Saihara’s FTE in Kaede’s POV. Also deliberate shoutout to Detective Conan) who travels the world, currently living with detective uncle(we all know this is canon) and doctor aunt. Yes, Shuuichi is quite born into purple, pretty much similar case with Amami. But Shuuichi usually hides his family’s wealth, not wanting to be judged by others because of that.
> 
> I’ll talk more about VA after fic, so please enjoy!

Shuuko Saihara was SHSL detective. Or that’s what others labeled her.  
To be honest, that case was just a mere luck. She just noticed an important clue that others didn’t discover. But the world found teenager detective who solved a murder case faster than police interesting and praised her as SHSL. Weeks later she received a letter from Hope’s Peak Academy. SHSL detective. That was what academy called her.

There was already another SHSL detective among juniors. The case of same SHSL title given to multiple people didn’t happen a lot-minus the SHSL luck, which had new students every year-but it was an exceptional case for her. Kyouko Kirigiri. Shuuko has read several newspaper articles praising her. She was the one who was more experienced, more skilled at finding culprits-all she could do was finding lost cats and helping angry couples make up. How did she even earn SHSL title? That case was just dumb luck...that case...that eye full of hatred…  
No. Don’t remind yourself of that. Try to enjoy new school, new class, new friends…  
That’s what her uncle said, so she tried.

At Hope’s Peak Academy she met lots of nice people-for example, SHSL pianist Kaede Akamatsu and SHSL astronaut Kaito Momota. To be honest, there were more population of ‘interesting’ rather than ‘nice’-like SHSL anthropologist Korekiyo Shinguuji, who observed people with creepiest eyes you can ever imagine and SHSL robot Kiibo, the robot high schooler functioning on electricity(Robotic discrimination, he would complain). But the one who caught her attention was SHSL supreme ruler Kokichi Ouma. 

Kokichi Ouma was boy with rather refined look. His pale skin contrasted his raven-purple hair, resembling a certain fallen angel neet. He was short for high schooler, even shorter than her. He looked innocent, but never be fooled by that-he was an actual demon with a face of angel. The one quote she found from one of her favorite novels-’Don’t judge people from the outside. Like any rose has thorns, the more person appears nice on the outside, the more you should doubt the inside.’-described him perfectly. He was always lying, but ironically Shuuko was attracted to that mystery. She wanted to find out the truth of the human embodiment of deception. 

Days, weeks, months passed. The life in Hope’s Peak Academy was eventful. Almost every day someone tried to commit murder, something(or someone, or some-robot) was thrown across the room, Kiibo screamed ‘robotic discrimination’, Shuinguuji praised human’s beauty-yup, so peaceful. Nevertheless, Shuuko could feel that this group became one big family- Toujou-san was everyone’s mom, Hoshi-kun was in father position, Amami-kun and Momota-kun were like big brothers, Akamatsu-san was big sister. She loved this class.

-

That day was abnormally peaceful compared to other days. After second hour Saihara realized why; Ouma-kun was absent today. In HPA, the absent of student was pretty common case-for the sake of ‘SHSL talent enrichment’. However, she didn’t want to miss class and freak out whenever midterm and final exams arrive. She ended up being one of the smartest people in class and often leading a group study. 

Anyway, something felt weird. Ouma-kun is not a kind of person who would be missing without a word. He has been absent several times, but those cases were when he was committing some laughable crimes and ultimately calling her for help(mostly when he was in danger of getting arrested and needed expert on law. Again, another long story). She decided to text him-turns out she didn’t need to. 

-Haha it’s not like I don’t want my beloved Saihara-chan to worry but I won’t be school today wait if you are kind enough I want 3 bottles of Panta and Saihara-chan’s love before I die

The last 6 words were kind of (fine, really)weird, but being a true detective, she could figure out what was going on; he’s sick today. 

“Saihara-san!”  
Shuuko almost died from jump scare. As she turned back, she saw a certain shade of chartreuse-no one other than SHSL adventurer Rantarou Amami.  
“Sorry if I scared you-what are you reading?”  
“Oh-it’s just message from Ouma-kun.”  
“Wait, how does he know your numbers?”  
“Well, being Ouma-kun, he probably ‘borrowed’ my phone without saying, most likely.”  
“May I?”  
She passed her phone to him.  
“So he’s sick. That’s what he’s trying to say...am I right?”  
“That’s what I think.”

It didn’t take long to realize that Toujou-san joined their conversation.  
“Then that would mean someone has to give him today’s handouts, am I right?”  
“Uh-huh.” “Yeah.”  
“Can I ask either of you to do so?”  
“Well, actually…I don’t know where he lives. More like he never told me, even when I asked him.”  
“Um…I think I know…kind of…I visited the base of his secret organization once. Guess I can do it…but can anyone else join me?”  
It wasn’t like it didn’t make sense; visiting boy classmate’s house alone, especially when it was Kokichi Ouma, no one could guarantee Saihara’s safety. However, on the other hand, he must be sick so nothing ‘too serious’ should happen(if it did, then he would be punished by Harukawa, Chabashira and Momota trio aka Saihara Protection Squad), and unlike her, not everyone in class had peaceful relationship with him.

Then Harukawa, who were passing by, made final refutation and broke doubting silence.   
“Seriously, who else here has better relationship with that than you?”  
Saihara have never had a moment sadder than this-not being able to find one single truth bullet to refute because the claim made 100% logical sense.  
Toujou passed the handouts to her. 

-

As mentioned before, she has visited the base of DICE once. It’s wasn’t the best situation-it associated with bank robbery and several coulrophobia breakout(It is a long story). Shuuko wondered if Ouma-kun’s existence made every possible kind of situation 150% unordinary and interesting. Definitely not boring, as he boastfully quoted. DICE wasn’t exactly the first (so-called)evil organization she encountered-actually compared to former groups she met, it was as peaceful as elementary students’ detective team. She arrived at an old building-if she remembered correctly, this is the base of DICE.

After a second of hesitation, she hit a doorbell.

The 53 seconds felt like 53 years-finally the door opened. The pigtailed girl wearing white clown mask appeared. Shuuko noticed other people with fairly similar designs of white straightjacket-like uniform.  
Silence. She couldn’t think of appropriate word. She was fully aware that she had to break the silence but she couldn’t find the right truth bullet-

“...Wait! Aren’t you that detective girl?!”

Oh thanks god.  
Of course she recognized her. After all, from past 8 weeks Shuuko has saved DICE from police so many times that she lost count after 14. She has seen them in person at least twice. Plus, Ouma-kun bragged about how awesome his organization quite a lot, so she knew some basic stuff about DICE(unbeknownst to her, Ouma also bragged about his ‘beloved detective-chan’ countless times that every DICE member could describe her by heart).

“Yes. You got that right-my name is Shuuko Saihara, SHSL detective and classmate of Ouma-kun. I just stopped by to see if he’s okay.”

Leader’s female classmate came to see if he’s okay. Boom. A typical romantic event.  
Behind clown mask the members did their best to hide the crowning emotion of 1)the same kind of gratification you can feel when your son/daughter brings their girl/boyfriend home for the first time 2)nostalgia of seeing your child all grown up and 3)genuine support for newly-born young couple.

Suddenly the girl’s look changed behind the mask. It was the same kind of expression she always saw whenever Ouma-kun was planning some laughable but extremely evil crimes.

“Heeey sis, wanna see leader in person?”

After all, Shuuko was type of person who thinks before she acts. But life always has exceptions, including that moment-she replied with “Yes” before she realized what she just said. But really, refusing that offer when she even brought some soup for him(no it’s not something romantic she was just worried-) would be ironic. 

-

Somewhere in the midst of dark labyrinth of hallway the girl finally stopped. So this must be Ouma-kun’s room, she concluded. The girl took a step back, as if expecting her to go inside alone. She knocked the door, but no reply could be heard, so she opened the door.

Minus the purple wall, everything in that room was white-white lighting, white floor, white ceiling, white furniture, ex cetera. On the white bed, she found extremely familiar shade of imperial purple.

“Ouma-kun?”

With some muffled grunts Ouma turned his head to her. His face was deadly pale, paler than white sheet, but red with extremely burning fever. 

“…S, sai…hara…chan…?”  
“Are you oka-”  
“Wow! Did Saihara-chan actually came to see me? I’m impressed~well you’re just wasting time you know, because if I die, I can be replaced-as supreme ruler! Nishishi~”

Shuuko regretted coming here for a second.

“You’re lying, aren’t you? Your organization doesn’t-”  
“Nishishi you’re wrong Saihara-chan! DICE exists to protect the world from devastation! And to unite all people within our nation, to denounce the evils of truth and love, and-”  
“Please stop.”

As always, he gave her headache.

“Did Saihara-chan brought something for me? Just for me? I’m actually touched~”

Please underline and highlight the last last sentence.

“Is it Karaage?”   
“No.”  
“Panta! It has to be Panta-”  
“You’re sick, so I made some chicken soup.”  
Ouma almost choked on one verb.  
“You made them?! Like, you cooked them?!”  
“...Is there a problem with that?”  
“Um…no?”

“Did you have anything?”  
“Not really.”  
“Do you want to eat it right n-”  
“Yes.”

Needless to reply, she opened the thermos. The rich creamy scent stimulated every cell of his empty stomach. 

“Careful, it’s hot.”  
“Uh-huh, who knows what will happen if I’m splashed with it? Maybe something like that kung-fu boy who becomes girl when splashed by cold water!”  
“What.‘

Forget what he just said. Shuuko took a spoonful of soup, softly blowed it to cool, and carefully delivered it to his mouth. 

“Is it good?”  
“This is really good! It’s not lie!”

She smiled as if replying to that comment.

-

As she put the thermos on the nearby table, she found a syringe and tiny bottle of clear liquid. What are they doing here? Her detective instinct switch was triggered.

“Is this-”

“No! Whatever you’re thinking, you got that wrong! It is NOT the toxin that can shrink people back to their six-year-old self!”

“Hold on.”

Why does that toxin sound extremely familiar? No, that’s not the important question.What would be appropriate bullet to break this awkwardness? Shuuko didn’t know what to do or feel at a time like this. Come on, you’re the detective. Use that big brain of yours… 

“If you need a shot, I can give it right now.”  
“Are you certified nurse? ‘Cause only certified people can give shots, you know.”  
“Yes, you have a point, but actually I occasionally helped my aunt’s hospital works…does that count?”  
“I can say yes……”

She has to say this; he is acting…out of character. This is not how ‘normal’ Ouma-kun would act. Maybe it’s because of his sickness, or…could it be? She doubted whether this is the right answer, but as her uncle said, sometimes it’s better to get to the point right away. So she did exactly what he said.

“Are you afraid of shots?”

After 5 seconds of completely frozen silence, he grabbed the sheet and buried his face. 

Okay, that was really unexpected, well, at least from Ouma-kun. She was surprised at first, but had enough sense to calm him. She gave him a hug and patted his head. His hair was surprisingly soft. 

“It’s okay, really. Trypanophobia is not a weird thing-”  
“English?”  
“In other words, needle phobia is pretty common case.”

Cue several more seconds of hug and soft pat on the back. Then he took off the sheet and practically menaced her;he did it with seriously furious glare, but with flushed face and teary eyes it sounded as threatening as small kitten hissing.

“Do. not. tell. anyone.”  
“I won’t. I promise.”  
“Is that a lie?”  
“You’re the liar, not me.”

That truth bullet did magic. Believe it or not, it actually made him quiet. Even Toujou-san would be impressed to see Ouma acting obedient. He shifted his position and laid down on his stomach. During that process he kicked the sheet and pulled down his white pj bottom. Why is this happening, no actually how did this happen-She did her best to ignore internal screams and stop her shaking hands. She quickly set up the shot. 

Soon she cleansed a patch of pale skin. The cold touch of alcohol made his body tense in alert-as she noticed this, she placed her hand on his lower back to comfort him.

“I need you to relax, okay?”

She took muffled grunt as yes. Without hesitation, she jabbed the needle to his pale skin. Contrary to his belief, it actually took less than 10 seconds-in a blink she took out the needle, swabbed the patch again, put his pj's on and blanketed him with bedclothes. That easy. While all these things happened Ouma remained silent, his face completely buried in pillow.

She was sure that she heard muffled sniff. Not a fake crocodile tear one, but genuine one from pain. Even evil supreme ruler can’t lie pain, can he? It didn’t take long for cry to be silenced. Ouma-kun was fast asleep. If anyone saw his pure refined sleeping face right now, they could’ve mistake him as innocent angel. That was how pure Ouma-kun’s true facade beneath mask of deceit. As a detective, she was somehow both honored and satisfied(if they are even the right vocabulary) to see his true side. 

She had to repeat this twice-his ‘true’ face was just too clean to be that of high-schooler’s. His skin was very pale, pale enough to challenge her own skin. Wait, she already knew that before; people misrecognized them as siblings quite often. Even fellow classmates notice this-the matching contrast of raven hair(though hers was closer to navy, and his had purple streaks) and extremely pale skin. She was an only child, so she couldn’t fully understand Amami-kun and Shinguuji-kun’s devoted their sisters-until today. She could feel what taking care of person you love(not in romantic way, but more like family or friend relationships)was like. For a split second she imagined what would happen if he was her brother.

Before leaving, she kneeled down next to him and checked the fever. Good, his forehead slightly cooled down. She (half-affectionately, half-playfully)ruffled his hair and whispered; 

“Sleep tight, Ouma-kun.” 

-

When Ouma opened his eyes, he found unfamiliar, no actually familiar ceiling. And he was alone. Saihara-chan must have left while he was asleep. She left the Thermos on the table. As he realized this fact, his guts made him to grab that and wolf down every last spoon of leftovers. Boi, they were heavenly.

Unfortunately his brain decided to recall back what happened few hours ago. Her warm hand on forehead checking fever, being fed by her, the shot(the spot began to hurt once he realized), and some pats on his head seconds before he quite literally passed out-adding cherry on top, she never lost her cool and was smiling every second. As if she was like his older sister or private nurse, no, the actual angel. Not the one that can destroy whole earth, but the personification of comfort. There was someone who did love him. He felt like crying over her kindness. 

But to be dead honest, he felt like, no really dead inside. Partially from kindness, but mostly from embarrassment. Come on, it was the situation when you were nursed by angel in disguise of fellow classmate! Kokichi Ouma, be a man. Be cool. He tried and failed beautifully. Well, all hot blooded young boys out there, I SHSL supreme ruler Kokichi Ouma challenge you to chill during moment like that! He protested internally. He kicked (innocent) blanket and threw pillow (which was also innocent) across the room. It knocked off the purple and green mecha figure with a horn from the desk. He made a mental note to pick that up later and forgot.

Sure, it was extra romantic moment of being nursed by fellow classmate, but there was another reason Ouma could just die from emotional turmoil. She was the first and only person to witness his weak side. As a evil supreme ruler and liar, Ouma did his best to not reveal his weakness. He always wore mask smeared with lie. As a result, others avoided him. Or maybe it was him who was isolating himself. He was never lonely. Or is he lying to himself? He has lied too much that he couldn’t recognize the truth from himself anymore. Maybe deep down in the heart he was desperately craving for someone to reveal his truth. After all, one who truly hates himself cannot love, he cannot place his trust in another. 

-

First day of new school, new class and classmates-Ouma was especially looking forward to meet new people. He wanted to find someone who would never stop to amaze him. He woke up extra early and entered the empty classroom first-as his new classmates arrived he made a mental note. He found them too ‘plain’-he could figure out their true nature at one glance. Not until one certain girl entered.

Most notable characteristic was her long eyelashes. Her soft-spoken voice during introduction immediately reminded him of Ayanami. The shoulder-length navy cascade of hair was smooth and lustrous. She was rather timid for SHSL detective. How boring. He was dead wrong.

She turned out to be the only one who pursuits truth from his lies-the one who actually tries to understand him, unlike others who would 1)ignore him completely 2)try to murder him 3)be totally roasted by him 24/7. That fact attracted him. He wanted to know everything about that detective. It didn’t take a long time to realize that his attraction toward her became romantic. After all, she was quite beautiful and attractive with her smooth hair, long eyelashes, the eye color of amber, soft skin as pale as snow, nice leg lines, acceptable hourglass figure with slender waist and some curves-hold on, what is he even saying?!

Oh wow, he somehow ended up having unnecessary flashback. Maybe he needs more sleep, but not before he mess up with someone. He knew who would be the perfect vict…prey. 

Ur highness: Im alive lol  
Avocado: Wow so sorry to hear that  
Ur highness: SAVAGE

Ow, that actually hurted. Let me see if you can maintain that savageness after reading this.

Ur highness: Beloved Saihara-chan just nursed me nishishi  
Avocado: Wait WHAT

Yup, exactly what he expected without a single doubt.

Ur highness: Isn’t it enviable, SHSL siscom-chan?  
Avocado: um  
Ur highness: She made a chicken soup for me! Just. for. me!  
Avocado: No need to say that twice  
Ur highness: Boi it was heavenly  
Avocado: FINE I’M JEALOUS OKAY ENOUGH

Ur highness: She would be a good nurse  
Avocado: I SAID ENOUGH  
Ur highness: As if Saihara-chan can travel with you and help so-called ‘sister-finding’ journey with her detective & nurse skills! Lol just sayin~  
Avocado: ...That is actually a nice idea   
Ur highness: Goddammit

Goddamn that siscom. The chat became boring again. He quit the chat and through the phone across bed. Seriously, is there anything besides Saihara-chan that’s never boring?

From boredom, Ouma made a prediction that beloved Shuuko-chan will eventually end up becoming class nurse and share ‘team mom’ title with Toujou-chan and Akamatsu-chan. Unfortunately(?) his prediction hit bullseye;   
Months later Amami almost died from endemic, Angie’s art knife was confirmed lethal, Harumaki witnessed Momota coughing blood, Chabashira tried to throw Kiibo off from the roof, Shinguuji took off his mask for the first time, Mama Kirumi was stressed out-yup, definitely not boring. Or for an ordinary class of super high school level students, he concluded.

**Author's Note:**

> SHSL VA joke time! TBH half of them were from Evangelion nishishi  
> Shuuichi's VA is Megumi Hayashibara, affectionately called 'Megu-san!' 
> 
> -About second paragraph; TBH, Saihara aka Hayashibara is the ‘seiyuu senpai’ who debuted earliest for entire student casts(1+2+V3)-her debut year is 1986.  
> -'A certain fallen angel Neet': Shoutout to Hanjou Urushihara from ‘The Devil is a part-timer!’. He also shares VA with Ouma.  
> -'Don’t judge people...should doubt the inside.’ This quote actually belongs to Ai Haibara, also voiced by Megu-san.  
> -Akio Ootsuka-san('59), VA of Hoshi, and Kikuko Inoue-san('64), VA of Toujou, are actually the oldest from student cast   
> -About the 'Evil Organization'-NERV, Black Organization, Team Rocket, you name it.  
> -Elementary students’ detective team: Haibara-chan and Detective Boys! The more hilarious thing is, the protag and leader of that team is Hinata(=Minami Takayama=Conan)  
> -'Shuuko Saihara, SHSL detective' This somehow reminds me of “Conan Edogawa, a detective!”. Wait actually Hinata is the one who says that  
> -If I die, I can be replaced; Maybe it’s third time…who knows? (Cough Ayanami Cough)  
> -'To protect the world from...'; Three words-Jessie from Pokemon. I know  
> -Karaage is basically fried chicken, and Hiro Shimono(Ouma's VA)’s trademark favorite food.  
> -Megu-san is actually a good cook. Yeah.  
> -Kung-fu Boy and cold water stuff: Shoutout to Ranma Saotome. Megu-san voiced female Ranma(male Ranma is Yamada), and that role counts as the beginning of ‘Hayashibara legend’   
> -That weird medicine; Child, you’re the one who made it. The name’s APTX4869-and currently you and Hinata are the only two who had rare side effect.  
> -What to do or feel at a time like this...Naegi would say 'Why don’t you just try smiling?'  
> -Unfamiliar ceiling: Shoutout goes to Evangelion, also trope namer.  
> -Angel, that kind of one Naegi and Shuuichi fight, and related to Togami  
> -Purple and green mecha: Evangelion 01-’tis spoiler, but Megu-san voiced ‘it’  
> -'One who truly...trust in another.' One of the Rei’s last quote from TV series.  
> -Rei Ayanami. Megu-san’s most famous role. And otaku’s idol of 90s. AKA best Megu-san VA joke material.  
> -In Slayers, Zelgardis(=Midorikawa=Amami) travels with Lina(=Hayashibara=Shuuichi). 
> 
> ...Phew, that's a lot of 'em. Anyone recognized everything? Good, I'm proud of you(pat pat)
> 
> This is my type of fanfic; the one w/ several seiyuu jokes and somewhat abstract allegory.
> 
> For my next one it can be either another sickfic but with male Saihara or Shuuko-chan nursing Amami...whatcha ur choice?
> 
> Anyway thank you everyone who read this despite of despairing grammar! I seriously love you guys!!


End file.
